Website Survey

4+1 major reasons why your landing page is turning off potential users & what to do about it

Today I'm doing a quick landing page copy review for Socedo—an app that helps marketers find and engage with their target audience on Twitter.

Looking at their landing page I spotted 1 major problem and few other potential pitfalls.

Here's what I found on Socedo's landing page + takeaways for you:

The headline doesn't grab attention

Why is this a problem?

The first and most important thing you need to do to convert a website visitor into a subscriber or customer is to get their attention.

If you fail to do that, your bounce rate will be high and the people who don't leave right away won't be excited to read the rest of the text on your landing page.

To attract attention you simply need to state your potential user's biggest benefit, biggest pain or both in the headline.

The headline also needs to be clear and vivid (that's a requirement for any piece of copy).

Sidenote: Writing attention-grabbing headlines is covered in the free email course "Bootstrap Your Kickass Landing Page". You can start the course immediately here.

Now, let's take a look at Socedo's headline:

socedo-1-headline

Automated Social Media Lead Generation

Problem

Not attracting attention because it doesn't state any benefit or pain. It's also unclear (jargon).

Advice to Socedo

First, find your biggest benefit.

To get to the benefit ask "Why?", e.g. "Why do my potential customers need automated social media lead generation?"

Then, to grab attention, try putting one of these in the headline:

  • State the biggest benefit (your promise)
  • Ask a painful question
  • Combine the benefit and promise in one like so: [Get benefit] without [Pain]

Unclear copy

Why is this a problem?

Because unclear copy is gets you ignored.

Conversion copywriting has one very important job: to evoke emotion. You can't afford people to go all "Meh!" on you. Your copy has to evoke one or several deep basic emotions—like fear or longing.

The way to tap into emotions is to make people imagine things or situations. That's why your copy has to be specific, clear and vivid.

Emotion is what makes people purchase products, sign up to newsletters and start free trials.

Let's take a look at Socedo's headline + subheadline.

socedo-2-subheadline

Automated Social Media Lead Generation
Find your target audience, engage them with one click, and fill your funnel.

Problem

Unclear copy: What does "fill your funnel" mean? What does it mean to "engage"? Where would I be able to find my target audience?

Advice to Socedo

Clarify your copy (especially in the headline + subhead) to the point where you're able to imagine it in your head.

To clarify ask "What is X?", e.g. "What does filling a funnel actually mean?"

Perhaps it's about growing an email list or it's about getting more traffic to a website?

Intimidating call to action

Why is this a problem?

The name of your call to action sways the final decision of your visitors—to click or not to click.

If people are on the fence and your call to action text scares them, they won't click.

So, you want a call to action name that is inviting, not intimidating.

Let me illustrate that with Socedo's landing page again:

socedo-3-CTA

The first call to action name is "Start My 14-day Free Trial".

Problem

With this call to action, you're asking people to make a commitment. The less information they have about you and your app/service, the smaller the commitment has to be.

So far, they have only read 2 (very unclear) sentences about the app. Suggesting that they start a free trial is too much to ask at this point.

What if you want their credit card number? Is it safe? What if you make them fill out a 10-field form? Why bother?

Advice to Socedo

Use a benefit-oriented call to action name at this point, like "Get Social Leads Now".

(Lack of) trust

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p>Now Socedo don’t have that problem at all. But many other startups do. So, check below if you’re doing things right.

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Socedo’s landing page is a good example of building trust. Let’s take a look:

socedo-4-trust

Sidenote: Every startup landing page uses these big company logos. Does this work anymore? I'd A/B test a version of the landing page without the logos.

Why Socedo's testimonials are great

  1. There is a picture of the person who gave the testimonial.
  2. There is the exact title and company name.

Advice to Socedo

2 things I'd try improving in your testimonials section:

  1. I'd try highlighting the most important pieces of the testmonials to make the text easy to scan.
  2. I'd A/B test a version of the page where the testimonials are placed next to the relevant feature/benefit of the app.

Biggest problem: Too much jargon

Apart from the sections that I highlighted, Socedo's main problem is that the copy on the entire page:

  • sounds complicated
  • contains too much jargon
  • is unclear and vague

I get that Socedo is (probably) a B2B app, but is this really the language that these people use?

Is this something any human would ever think?

Even in a large corporation, the people who make the purchase decisions are just people, like you, me, everyone else. Does anyone think:

Oh, man, I wish I could qualify social prospects via automated social media engagement!

I doubt it. This doesn't sound human.

Humans are tortured by much simpler thoughts. Like:

Ugh, boss is pressuring me about that social media strategy. I'm really doing everything I can. How can I bring in more prospects in the next 2 weeks and shine at that Friday meeting?

How to solve it

My advice is to research your potential users:

  1. Find who the decision makers are.
  2. Find where they hang out (LinkedIn? Warrior Forum?) and basically steal their words. Use that in your copy. Call things the way they call them.
  3. Find their pains and dreams. Find what makes them buy products. Find what makes them use similar tools. Use this info to improve your copy. Tell them what they want to hear.

Takeaways

  1. Your headline has a VERY important job–to grab attention. State the biggest benefit, biggest pain or both in the headline.
  2. Emotion makes people purchase products. The job of the copy on your landing page is to evoke emotion. And that happens when you make people imagine things and situations. That's why your copy has to be clear and vivid.
  3. Always use a picture, full name, title and company name on your testimonials. Do everything you need to do to prove that these are actual people.
  4. Try placing relevant testimonials next to corresponding features and benefits.
  5. Avoid corporate jargon, complicated and vague phrases. Try to sound human.

About the author Gergana Dimova

I use my non-magical persuasion methods to help small business owners, digital agencies, entrepreneurs and consultants get more leads and sales. You can learn more about working with me here.

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